Four-legged Financier Prints

'I'm tired of begging, so I'm applying for a loan.'

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

Maybe it's time to stop giving our bones to a broker and start burying them in the backyard again.

"With me everything is 'scratch and sniff'."

'So much for the will! Now, before you start celebrating, I suggest you think about inheritance taxes, because, according to my calculations, you will be left with. . ."

'Oh my God, dog biscuits are down!'

'What, you again? And you'll want credit as usual, I suppose!'

'It's a good living. They train you to do default swaps and you get paid in seals.'

"It's called investing! You give me your worm now, I eat half of it, feed the other half to the fish and, in a month, we share the fish 10/90 my way. . ."

'Perkins, what about this trip on your expense account to 'Fantasy Island'?'

'My dad showed me how to make awesome paper airplanes out of corporate bonds.'

"Trust me, catching it isn't that satisfying."

It's important to maintain liquidity! It must be a business school.

"I take it you've never had a bank account before?"

'I hear you have a side business.'

'So many potential customers... unfortunately, they're not credit-worthy.'

'...anything else, sir?'

Bad cat - Credit Card.

'I haven't had my day and I don't know any dog who has.'

Rover's Cake

'And this is Mr Blagstock our chief salesman.'

'Do you have a dog biscuit ETF, chew toy ETF, rawhide bone eTF. . .?'

'As a general rule of thumb, if your only assets are your frequent flyer miles, you don't need to create a trust for your children.'

Dog has a hi-yeild inbox full of bones.

'Do you believe in signs, Sir?'

Stock Tips: $5 - 'What not to buy'

'So, you're a serious investor? Lighten up!'

"No, you can't pay in camels -but we do accept goldfish!"

Porridge stocks are down

'Would you care to settle the matter of your loan with a penalty shoot-out?'

"Did you get a christmas bonus, dear?"

'With all your exports, the North Pole must have a really bad trade imbalance.'

'I can take some of the swing out of your portfolio.'