Feline Financier Gifts

Bad cat - Credit Card.

'What, you again? And you'll want credit as usual, I suppose!'

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

'So that we can have a productive meeting, please turn off all phones and put away any catnip toys.'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

A Man and His Cat Read the Financial News.

Doris was determined to save money on cat parlour fees!

"Yes, the market did advance this week, Rebecca, but we feel it's somewhat of a 'dead-cat bounce.'"

'Naughty boy, I see you clawing my curtains.'

"All right, Thompson. The board concedes that this quarter's economic growth does look very much like a kitty.

"Whoa. Nap time again. Meeting adjourned."

'Catch any good mice lately?'

'So much for the will! Now, before you start celebrating, I suggest you think about inheritance taxes, because, according to my calculations, you will be left with. . ."

"You'd think having nine lives, we'd be better at retirement planning."

'It's a good living. They train you to do default swaps and you get paid in seals.'

"It's called investing! You give me your worm now, I eat half of it, feed the other half to the fish and, in a month, we share the fish 10/90 my way. . ."

It's important to maintain liquidity! It must be a business school.

Cat wins lottery and vows to carry on working.

'I hear you have a side business.'

'So many potential customers... unfortunately, they're not credit-worthy.'

'...anything else, sir?'

'Do you have a dog biscuit ETF, chew toy ETF, rawhide bone eTF. . .?'

Dog has a hi-yeild inbox full of bones.

'Do you believe in signs, Sir?'

'You can't count your litter box as a deduction just because you do your business there.'

"No, you can't pay in camels -but we do accept goldfish!"

'Acme investments, featuring: Catnip stocks, catnip futures...'

'I'm tired of begging, so I'm applying for a loan.'

"Did you get a christmas bonus, dear?"

'This job as a CEO has me conflicted...'

"Don't worry about the heating bills - the cats are on it."