Feline Financial Friend Gifts

A Man and His Cat Read the Financial News.

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

Saving for Retirement.

Doris was determined to save money on cat parlour fees!

"Yes, the market did advance this week, Rebecca, but we feel it's somewhat of a 'dead-cat bounce.'"

'Naughty boy, I see you clawing my curtains.'

"All right, Thompson. The board concedes that this quarter's economic growth does look very much like a kitty.

Maybe it's time to stop giving our bones to a broker and start burying them in the backyard again.

'So much for the will! Now, before you start celebrating, I suggest you think about inheritance taxes, because, according to my calculations, you will be left with. . ."

'Oh my God, dog biscuits are down!'

'What, you again? And you'll want credit as usual, I suppose!'

"You'd think having nine lives, we'd be better at retirement planning."

'It's a good living. They train you to do default swaps and you get paid in seals.'

"Betty, we're paying through the nose for that plastic surgery! Just look at that visa and discovery bill!"

'I made it from scratch'.

Bad cat - Credit Card.

'I actually make a lot more money as a bookmaker than I ever did as a race horse...'

'Do you have a dog biscuit ETF, chew toy ETF, rawhide bone eTF. . .?'

Dog has a hi-yeild inbox full of bones.

'Do you believe in signs, Sir?'

'You can't count your litter box as a deduction just because you do your business there.'

'Acme investments, featuring: Catnip stocks, catnip futures...'

Cat typing on computer 'SWF wants to share crinkle toys and long naps in the sun. Neutering a must.'

'I didn't know you were a nature lover...' 'I'm not, it's saving me a fortune in cat food!"

"Don't worry about the heating bills - the cats are on it."

'Cats are very independent.'