Fishy Investor Gifts

'You simply put up a minimum of $2,500. If the price of fish goes up, your investment goes up. If the price of the fish goes down, your investment goes down.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

Fish talking about fisherman

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

Golf Hole at bottom of lake.

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

"Okay, it if makes you feel better...yes, I have stock in a banana company."

'Thanks to a little genetec engineering, we can merchandise these fish right on the farm.'

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

Animal worries.

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

The last of the Mom and Pop brokerage houses

"You should consider buying."

Locally Grown Stocks, Farm Fresh CDs, Free Range Annuities.

Investments: We have locally grown stocks.

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

Fish Food

'Finzter, our newest investment adviser, believes that money can make you happy.'

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

Garage Sale: Assorted shares of stocks.

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

At The Clown Bank.

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

'One look at you and I thought 'footsie world stock fund.''

"No, actually I am a large mouth tenor."

"In my family we're forbidden from mentioning my uncle...he made his money with cat food stocks!"

Low-Rent Stockholders

'Yes we are observing the swordfish boycott, but we brought in special herring with nose jobs.'

School of Fish

'I'm doomed anyway, so I may as well make the most of it...'

'How about a romantic caper about two lost souls who meet and find happiness investing in mutual funds.'

"It's called investing! You give me your worm now, I eat half of it, feed the other half to the fish and, in a month, we share the fish 10/90 my way. . ."

"That guy is incredible! He's coaxed the fish to invest 20,000 bucks...in catfood stocks!"