Fishy Investor T-Shirts

'You simply put up a minimum of $2,500. If the price of fish goes up, your investment goes up. If the price of the fish goes down, your investment goes down.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

Fish talking about fisherman

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

Golf Hole at bottom of lake.

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

"Okay, it if makes you feel better...yes, I have stock in a banana company."

'Thanks to a little genetec engineering, we can merchandise these fish right on the farm.'

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

Animal worries.

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

Investments: We have locally grown stocks.

Locally Grown Stocks, Farm Fresh CDs, Free Range Annuities.

"You should consider buying."

The last of the Mom and Pop brokerage houses

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

Garage Sale: Assorted shares of stocks.

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

At The Clown Bank.

Fish Food

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

'Finzter, our newest investment adviser, believes that money can make you happy.'

'One look at you and I thought 'footsie world stock fund.''

"No, actually I am a large mouth tenor."

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

Low-Rent Stockholders

'How about a romantic caper about two lost souls who meet and find happiness investing in mutual funds.'

'I'm doomed anyway, so I may as well make the most of it...'

"It's called investing! You give me your worm now, I eat half of it, feed the other half to the fish and, in a month, we share the fish 10/90 my way. . ."

School of Fish

"In my family we're forbidden from mentioning my uncle...he made his money with cat food stocks!"

'Yes we are observing the swordfish boycott, but we brought in special herring with nose jobs.'

"That guy is incredible! He's coaxed the fish to invest 20,000 bucks...in catfood stocks!"