Playful Investor Gifts

At The Clown Bank.

'He made a lot of money investing in what he knew - dog biscuit and rawhide bone futures.'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'I don't see why I have to pick it up. I'm not responsible for the law of gravity.'

"....But then I find myself saying, what if there isn't more to life than this?"

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

Symbols of Wall St: bull, bear, Humpty Dumpty.

"Your long-range investments would have made you a very wealthy man."

'Basically it's a stock that if a chain of near miraculous events would happen to occur, you'd make a bundle.'

Shakespeare Ave

"He downgraded Apple."

'...Would you like me to try out my Big Bang theory?'

First Little Piggy Investment Associates

'Eddie, you've tried aggressive growth, multicaps, small caps, blue chips...now maybe it's time to try a support group for underperforming portfolios?'

'The action next week is going to be in bird seed, but if you quote me, I'll deny I said it.'

'How do you expect to play Canasta when you left your brain to science?'

'Hi, Dad! We were going to set up the lemonade stand you suggested, but then Jamie got an even better idea!'

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

'A penny saved is a penny not stimulating the economy.'

Please do not give insider tips to the bears.

"We're trying to put the fun back into filing taxes."

Got out of the market too soon, got back in too late.

'My dad showed me how to make awesome paper airplanes out of corporate bonds.'

Akme National Bank: Our Assets Can Whip Your Assets.

'I'll take Tommy Peters to cry first, for a nickel.'

Just in: Condolence cards for the small investor.

"What's the current return on investment?"

"on the contrary, the fund's performance has been quite good when viewed in dog's years."

A child pulls the lever of a machine that is combination of both a slot machine and a gumball machine.

"I did it for the money."

"My broker gave me this Wall Street rally cap."

"You never said your 50,000 shares were penny ones!"