Quirky Financial Guru Gifts

"This is Mr. Burke—he's a non-bank banker."

Joker Financial Consultant

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

The president's men

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'If you're so smart, why don't you have some Index Funds in your portfolio?'

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

The economy.

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

E.U. Banking Union.

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

'It's our own consumer confidence test. Throw some nickels out and if they're picked up in 5 minutes confidence is really low!'

Wall Street Couch

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

"It's the new simplified tax demand from HMRC. . . Three Questions - How much did you earn last year? How much have you got left? And how soon can you send it. . .?"

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

Not thinking BIG enough: Nickel & Dime Bank.

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'