Finance Geek Gifts

"He manages a broad stock index fund."

"I've hedged against inflation and I've hedged against deflation, but price stability could knock me for a loop."

Your Pizza Dollar

"Instead, let me be your investment advisor and get you eleven-per-cent return, year in and year out, regardless of market conditions."

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this committee.'

The Fed's Next Interest Rate Hike Is Near!

'There's been a slight devaluation.'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'Property ownership is SO nineties! Gerald and I sold our house to a private consortia and are leasing back.'

"Please, do go on about modern financial theory—but with someone else."

'Hold on ? I have a followup question for you to evade.'

'Dad, how come there are more bulls than bears?'

"Hello, I'm Dr. Jones...assisting me today will be the hospital's CFO, Mr. Peters."

"No one talks in millions anymore."

'Stocks rose on news that there's no other place to put your money- after interest rates hit rock bottom.'

Slipping and sliding down the slope...

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

'Our funds contain stocks chosen only by American-made robots!"

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

"O.K. The forward rate for marks rose in March and April, combined with a sharp increase in German reserves and heavy borrowing in the Eurodollar market, while United States liquid reserves had dropped to forteen billion dollars, causing speculation that the mark might rise and encouraging conversion on a large scale. Now do you understand?"

'Psst. . . tell me about your 'obscene dividend' fund.'

'Be careful, Ed, those growth bond funds are extremely aggressive.'

"Your credit score is lower than your golf score, even with your handicap."

'Eddie, take it from me...invest in robotics.'

"One question, what's a share option?"

Spain-Italy-Debt-Interest rates

R. Jones: Investment Advisor - Out Chasing Yield

...the only thing I don't have is the commission you'll be making.

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

Bank Statement - Lock up your wife.

'My investment advisor suggests 25% in equities, 25% in bonds and 50% under the mattress.'

'I'm not kidding Bertie, give me your lunch money.'

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

"Hold on, Ms. Goodwin. I'm checking with the algorithm that's managing your money."

Dangers of Inflationary Fiscal Policy