Finance Geek Pillows

"He manages a broad stock index fund."

"I've hedged against inflation and I've hedged against deflation, but price stability could knock me for a loop."

Your Pizza Dollar

"Instead, let me be your investment advisor and get you eleven-per-cent return, year in and year out, regardless of market conditions."

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this committee.'

The Fed's Next Interest Rate Hike Is Near!

'Property ownership is SO nineties! Gerald and I sold our house to a private consortia and are leasing back.'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'There's been a slight devaluation.'

"Please, do go on about modern financial theory—but with someone else."

"Hello, I'm Dr. Jones...assisting me today will be the hospital's CFO, Mr. Peters."

'Dad, how come there are more bulls than bears?'

'Hold on ? I have a followup question for you to evade.'

"No one talks in millions anymore."

'Stocks rose on news that there's no other place to put your money- after interest rates hit rock bottom.'

Slipping and sliding down the slope...

"O.K. The forward rate for marks rose in March and April, combined with a sharp increase in German reserves and heavy borrowing in the Eurodollar market, while United States liquid reserves had dropped to forteen billion dollars, causing speculation that the mark might rise and encouraging conversion on a large scale. Now do you understand?"

"Your credit score is lower than your golf score, even with your handicap."

Spain-Italy-Debt-Interest rates

'Psst. . . tell me about your 'obscene dividend' fund.'

'Be careful, Ed, those growth bond funds are extremely aggressive.'

"One question, what's a share option?"

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

...the only thing I don't have is the commission you'll be making.

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

'Eddie, take it from me...invest in robotics.'

'Our funds contain stocks chosen only by American-made robots!"

R. Jones: Investment Advisor - Out Chasing Yield

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

"Jerry's blood pressure jumped to a six month high on News of the dollar's weakness."

Dangers of Inflationary Fiscal Policy

Young wife expressing interest in the money market

"Well, what do you think we should do now?"

"You have a choice - our 401k plan or a free lottery ticket each Monday morning for 20 years."

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!