Financially Cautious Couples Gifts

Toast lovers before and after

"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."

"You might say I'm middle-of-the-road. I'd buy a fur coat but I wouldn't buy a Japanese fur coat."

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

Take one Per Day as Affordable.

"You were the one who said we couldn't afford a new vacuum, so stop moaning and suck harder!"

'Any annuity we can afford wouldn't pay the MILK BILL!'

"You'll be out of here before you know it. Our auditor just went over your financial situation."

'All I said was,two could live as cheaply as one until you gave up dieting.'

"My client, whom I shall refer to as your son, has retained me to represent him in these negotiations regarding an increase in his allowance!"

"We put you through day-care. You're on your own now."

"Papi, do we have enough net financial assets to meet essential living expenses for nine months if our source of income disappears?"

'At these prices I won't be able to say much!'

"OK, I'll go to my room, but one day I'll get back at you by going to college and putting you into deep financial debt."

"No matter what one says, a safe remains a good way to keep your money safe."

Credit card debt.

'Hmmm, this is too good to be true: I can smell a rat...'

psychiatrist - "...I'm just adding up your bill"

'I appreciate all you've done to help me to relax but I still get nervous twinges when I get your bill.'

'Sorry kids, we've had to introduce no-frills parenting.'

'As far as we know, no one who has eaten out genetically-modified food has turned into a creature or anything.'

Baby buying shares

'Once they're born they immediately begin to depreciate.'

'Whenever you have a candlelight dinner I'm never sure if you're in a romantic mood or you're just trying to cut down on the light bill.'

Cancel that turkey and prawn sandwich and make it cheese.

"It's time to go home and put our parents into a panic over the upcoming back to school shopping season..."

Thrift: 'Collect a smaller child than your own from school... It eats less and fits the old clothes of the previous child.'

The cheap skate - 'Separate checks, please.'

"They're having a price war."

'Wow, your expensive health insurance is worth every penny! According to your status, you're entitled to a special single room. Do you prefer the lift shaft or the heating cellar?'

"Because of what's been happening to food prices and our stocks, we will no longer throw away anything that resembles food..."

'Mr. President, the Post Office is going broke because the poor can't afford to buy postage.'-'No problem - we'll just issue them STAMP stamps!

'Let's face it, if two can live as cheaply as one it would only be for half the time...'

Worrying about the demise of the social security.

No, I haven't taken an aspirin yet... I'm still reading the bottle!