Cautious Spender Gifts

Cancel that turkey and prawn sandwich and make it cheese.

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d

'Whoever stole your credit card is spending a lot less with it than you did!'

'I've got the world by the tail. How much is this going to set me back?'

"You might say I'm middle-of-the-road. I'd buy a fur coat but I wouldn't buy a Japanese fur coat."

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

Buy 1 Get 1 Free. Buy 2 You're Stupid.

"With this app, I can track my savings. It counts cash, categorizes cash, and calculates cash interest."

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

"Fiscal conservatism be damned. I'm a fiscal hedonist."

Wealth AcquisitionWealth ManagementSince You Can't Take it with you, Spend it.

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

"I balance my manic compulsive buying with manic buyer's remorse."

Affordable housing

Low income vampires.

"Looks very promising. Put us down for one half of one share."

If you don't see what you want, buy something you don't want!

"I want to be cured of some very destructive buying habits."

January Sales

Eat it while it's still £6.50.

'Of course I care for you. You're the most expensive woman in my life.'

"For clients with an extremely low risk tolerance, I recommend they talk to someone with a ground-floor office."

Spiralling inflation

'Hmmm, this is too good to be true: I can smell a rat...'

'As far as we know, no one who has eaten out genetically-modified food has turned into a creature or anything.'

'I can tell when we're in a recession - my allowance gets cut.'

'If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping...'

'I couldn't afford the lavish lifestyle I was living. Coming to accept that was freeing, although, not as freeing as I had hoped.'

Half a loaf is better than none..

One upside-down tomato planter. I can't wait for juicy, free tomatoes. It's $23.37 with tax. Not bad for homegrown tomahtas. Plus $8 for potting soil, $15 for the hanger, $11 for organic fertilizer, $16 � Hey! � Where are you going? To the "Pick and Save" market.

'The bank wants you to stop writing checks for a few days, to give them a chance to catch up.'

"I signed up for a shopaholic class. It was a real bargain."

'I'm torn between brand loyalty & changing trends in the consumer experience.'

"I'd be very happy to give if I could be confident the money was spent well!"