Cautious Spender Pillows

Cancel that turkey and prawn sandwich and make it cheese.

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

'I've got the world by the tail. How much is this going to set me back?'

'Whoever stole your credit card is spending a lot less with it than you did!'

"You might say I'm middle-of-the-road. I'd buy a fur coat but I wouldn't buy a Japanese fur coat."

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

Buy 1 Get 1 Free. Buy 2 You're Stupid.

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

"Fiscal conservatism be damned. I'm a fiscal hedonist."

"With this app, I can track my savings. It counts cash, categorizes cash, and calculates cash interest."

Wealth AcquisitionWealth ManagementSince You Can't Take it with you, Spend it.

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

"I balance my manic compulsive buying with manic buyer's remorse."

"Looks very promising. Put us down for one half of one share."

Affordable housing

If you don't see what you want, buy something you don't want!

Low income vampires.

"I want to be cured of some very destructive buying habits."

January Sales

Eat it while it's still £6.50.

'Of course I care for you. You're the most expensive woman in my life.'

"For clients with an extremely low risk tolerance, I recommend they talk to someone with a ground-floor office."

Spiralling inflation

'Hmmm, this is too good to be true: I can smell a rat...'

Half a loaf is better than none..

'The bank wants you to stop writing checks for a few days, to give them a chance to catch up.'

'If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping...'

'I couldn't afford the lavish lifestyle I was living. Coming to accept that was freeing, although, not as freeing as I had hoped.'

'As far as we know, no one who has eaten out genetically-modified food has turned into a creature or anything.'

"I signed up for a shopaholic class. It was a real bargain."

'I can tell when we're in a recession - my allowance gets cut.'

'I'm torn between brand loyalty & changing trends in the consumer experience.'

"I'd be very happy to give if I could be confident the money was spent well!"

'My credit card debt? Oh, I deleted that.'