Cautious Shopper Pillows

'Mom says if you're going to buy anything online,I'm supposed to make sure it's a secure site.'

"Give me only nineteen eggs, please."

Shopping scams

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

No Immediate Danger

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"I didn't know it was poison ivy. It didn't have any warning labels."

"You might say I'm middle-of-the-road. I'd buy a fur coat but I wouldn't buy a Japanese fur coat."

Down on Her.

'I'm sure they make it up in volume.'

Hang on, don't cross now: I can see a car coming...

Cash Rebate

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

'I'd like to play, but I'm afraid it might void my warranty.'

"On reflection, it might be prudent to leave this one till last..."

Tortoise Goes For A Swim

"Looks very promising. Put us down for one half of one share."

At Travel Agent - "We're interested in a no-diarrhea itinery."

January Sales

'Midnight Galas, dinner at the Captain's table, the Swinging Singles Bar, exotic tropical nights... if I may say so, Miss Winslow... this cruise is you!'

"For clients with an extremely low risk tolerance, I recommend they talk to someone with a ground-floor office."

'Hmmm, this is too good to be true: I can smell a rat...'

Toothpaste mental shutdown.

'You should try to be more spontaneous.' 'I shall. When I'm good and ready.'

"Was there ever a boy scout badge for 'caution'?"

'As far as we know, no one who has eaten out genetically-modified food has turned into a creature or anything.'

"What 'Do-not-knock' list?"

Half a loaf is better than none..

Saving the planet

"I'm looking for something special that says 'Meow.'"

"She wants to make sure we don't lose her money..."

"There's very little an individual store can do about rising food prices, Mom!"

Bottled water has no trans fats.

"Just relax. Your investments are so safe you'll be worth a million dollars if you live to be 169."