Skeptical Shopper Pillows

'I'm sure they make it up in volume.'

'Call me when you invent the warranty.'

Incredibly Inexpensive Security Systems' advertise 'Pretty Good Set Ups. 1/2 the price, 2/3 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional break-ins.

Down on Her.

'Midnight Galas, dinner at the Captain's table, the Swinging Singles Bar, exotic tropical nights... if I may say so, Miss Winslow... this cruise is you!'

'I don't like the looks of this.'

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

Buy on-line - Fill in form, Fill in form again, And again, Lose form, Fill-in form a few more times, Give up and go to shop...

'All our appliances come with energy saving device - off/on switch.'

'No, officer, I'm not a homeless beggar. I'm just waiting on my wife while she's shopping.'

'I don't want to go school shopping! Can't you just buy stuff for me?. . .Just get me more of this in the next size up!'

Cash Rebate

"Frank's gone fishing, and he'll be looking forward to a fish dinner."

“We need eggs, milk, bread... Oh, and get an extra-large tub of outrage. We’re running low.”

Why men hate shopping.

Financial Christmas

End Of Consumer Confidence Sale

'What's wrong with me today? I actually served a customer...'

"I was at home all day yesterday so when do I want you to re-deliver? Yesterday!"

'Hey! Who changed this water into wine?'

"Happy Easter!"

'I don't CARE if they were marked down 35 percent. That set of drapes goes back to the store!'

Coming soon: The Garden of Eden Shopping Center.

Microscope's R Us. 'What do you mean out 'No Refunds' small print is too small.'

Aura Ashley - Mediumwear.

'No Wallmart...No Target...No mall...How can you call this paradise?'

'Mom says if you're going to buy anything online,I'm supposed to make sure it's a secure site.'

'It's the only way I can get him to help me with the shopping.'

Big Retail is watching you... They're just not really watching what they've got.

"I'm not investing a penny into the high street!"

'It's been raining all day. There's nothing to do.'

Supermarket - 'Buy One, Get 5kg Of Packaging Free'

"I'm looking for something special that says 'Meow.'"