Shopping Skeptics Pillows

"For the last bloody time, I won't forget the honey!"

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

'This associate has a first rate mind...and a third rate suit.'

Down on Her.

'I'm sure they make it up in volume.'

'At least we don't have to worry about getting those as gifts.'

"Someone's been sending me J. Crew catalogues."

Cash Rebate

End Of Consumer Confidence Sale

Financial Christmas

'Midnight Galas, dinner at the Captain's table, the Swinging Singles Bar, exotic tropical nights... if I may say so, Miss Winslow... this cruise is you!'

'What's wrong with me today? I actually served a customer...'

How to dress for forty below...if you're over forty, or under twenty.

Microscope's R Us. 'What do you mean out 'No Refunds' small print is too small.'

'I don't CARE if they were marked down 35 percent. That set of drapes goes back to the store!'

"Wise up. You and me do not make a ferret craze."

Coming soon: The Garden of Eden Shopping Center.

'Hey! Who changed this water into wine?'

"I can't find anything on line. I'm going to the mall."

'No Wallmart...No Target...No mall...How can you call this paradise?'

"Why don't you just go to the supermarket like everybody else?"

'The answer is still no. I'm not interested!'

Delivery slots unavailable

Supermarket - 'Buy One, Get 5kg Of Packaging Free'

'It's been raining all day. There's nothing to do.'

"I'm not investing a penny into the high street!"

Big Retail is watching you... They're just not really watching what they've got.

'Call me when you invent the warranty.'

'Wow, your expensive health insurance is worth every penny! According to your status, you're entitled to a special single room. Do you prefer the lift shaft or the heating cellar?'

Incredibly Inexpensive Security Systems' advertise 'Pretty Good Set Ups. 1/2 the price, 2/3 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional break-ins.

'Is everything made in China these days?'

"I only started drinking in the street when they turned my local boozer into a supermarket."

'You say that 35,- is too much for this ugly shirt? Okay, just give me 20 bucks and I'll keep the bloody thing!'

'Everything checks out ok, Mrs. Winslow, except your clothes.'

Men's wear, guy hiding under rack.