Shopping Skeptic Pillows

'No Wallmart...No Target...No mall...How can you call this paradise?'

End Of Consumer Confidence Sale

Coming soon: The Garden of Eden Shopping Center.

Supermarket - 'Buy One, Get 5kg Of Packaging Free'

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

Only One Item or Fewer.

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

They get into debt so fast these days...

Seven deadly sins shopping plaza

Buy on-line - Fill in form, Fill in form again, And again, Lose form, Fill-in form a few more times, Give up and go to shop...

Down on Her.

'I'm sure they make it up in volume.'

'How do I know if it's seaworthy?'

A sign outside the "Museum of Modern Gift Items" reads "T-shirts of the Masters Sale".

Cash Rebate

"I often think of the 'Hereafter'. When I'm shopping I'm always asking myself 'What am I here after?'"

If you don't see what you want, we don't serve your kind here.

'Midnight Galas, dinner at the Captain's table, the Swinging Singles Bar, exotic tropical nights... if I may say so, Miss Winslow... this cruise is you!'

'When will you learn? You're only paying for the label!'

Poor Holiday Gift Choice...The Lucifer 2500, Talking GPS Device.

"If there are more than two people in front of you - we will open another superstore."

Man in carriage waiting for shopping wife

Shopper reading Shopenhauer in bookshop

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

"Sometimes I like to browse the men's section just to screw with the patriarchy."

Financial Christmas

Mail-Order Yard Sale

'What's wrong with me today? I actually served a customer...'

'Sometimes I ask myself, 'What would good King Wenceslaus think about all this?''

'Hey! Who changed this water into wine?'

Microscope's R Us. 'What do you mean out 'No Refunds' small print is too small.'

'I don't CARE if they were marked down 35 percent. That set of drapes goes back to the store!'

"Thank YOU Amazon!"

Mother Nature's Health Foods