Shopping Skeptic Pillows

'No Wallmart...No Target...No mall...How can you call this paradise?'

Marks And Spencer Financial Services - " I came in here to buy socks not stocks."

End Of Consumer Confidence Sale

Charity in a Jiffy

Coming soon: The Garden of Eden Shopping Center.

Supermarket - 'Buy One, Get 5kg Of Packaging Free'

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

Only One Item or Fewer.

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

They get into debt so fast these days...

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

Seven deadly sins shopping plaza

Buy on-line - Fill in form, Fill in form again, And again, Lose form, Fill-in form a few more times, Give up and go to shop...

Down on Her.

'I'm sure they make it up in volume.'

Cash Rebate

A sign outside the "Museum of Modern Gift Items" reads "T-shirts of the Masters Sale".

'How do I know if it's seaworthy?'

"I often think of the 'Hereafter'. When I'm shopping I'm always asking myself 'What am I here after?'"

If you don't see what you want, we don't serve your kind here.

Poor Holiday Gift Choice...The Lucifer 2500, Talking GPS Device.

Man in carriage waiting for shopping wife

'When will you learn? You're only paying for the label!'

'Midnight Galas, dinner at the Captain's table, the Swinging Singles Bar, exotic tropical nights... if I may say so, Miss Winslow... this cruise is you!'

"If there are more than two people in front of you - we will open another superstore."

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

"Sometimes I like to browse the men's section just to screw with the patriarchy."

Shopper reading Shopenhauer in bookshop

Mail-Order Yard Sale

Financial Christmas

'What's wrong with me today? I actually served a customer...'

'I don't CARE if they were marked down 35 percent. That set of drapes goes back to the store!'

"Thank YOU Amazon!"

Mother Nature's Health Foods

'Sometimes I ask myself, 'What would good King Wenceslaus think about all this?''