Skeptical Shopper Gifts

'I'm sure they make it up in volume.'

'Call me when you invent the warranty.'

Incredibly Inexpensive Security Systems' advertise 'Pretty Good Set Ups. 1/2 the price, 2/3 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional break-ins.

Down on Her.

'Midnight Galas, dinner at the Captain's table, the Swinging Singles Bar, exotic tropical nights... if I may say so, Miss Winslow... this cruise is you!'

'I don't like the looks of this.'

"I have to agree with your husband - he knows a deal when he sees one."

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

Buy on-line - Fill in form, Fill in form again, And again, Lose form, Fill-in form a few more times, Give up and go to shop...

'All our appliances come with energy saving device - off/on switch.'

'No, officer, I'm not a homeless beggar. I'm just waiting on my wife while she's shopping.'

Cash Rebate

'I don't want to go school shopping! Can't you just buy stuff for me?. . .Just get me more of this in the next size up!'

"Frank's gone fishing, and he'll be looking forward to a fish dinner."

“We need eggs, milk, bread... Oh, and get an extra-large tub of outrage. We’re running low.”

End Of Consumer Confidence Sale

Why men hate shopping.

Financial Christmas

'What's wrong with me today? I actually served a customer...'

"Baldo, I don't need advice on looking cool in a new car."

Aura Ashley - Mediumwear.

'I don't CARE if they were marked down 35 percent. That set of drapes goes back to the store!'

"I was at home all day yesterday so when do I want you to re-deliver? Yesterday!"

"Happy Easter!"

Microscope's R Us. 'What do you mean out 'No Refunds' small print is too small.'

Coming soon: The Garden of Eden Shopping Center.

'Hey! Who changed this water into wine?'

'No Wallmart...No Target...No mall...How can you call this paradise?'

'Mom says if you're going to buy anything online,I'm supposed to make sure it's a secure site.'

'It's the only way I can get him to help me with the shopping.'

Supermarket - 'Buy One, Get 5kg Of Packaging Free'

"I'm not investing a penny into the high street!"

What's the sale price on scones? Zero percent off. It's a sale in name only. I see. How many can I get at the sale price? The sale mentality mocks me.