The Modern World is so Full of Anxiety
Anxious Shopper Gifts
Searching for a gift for the anxious shopper in your life? Our collection offers witty and comforting items designed to inject humor and calm into stressful days. Perfect for those who appreciate a touch of humor amidst their worries, these thoughtfully curated products help ease anxiety with a smile. Whether it’s a mug to start the day or a pillow to wind down, find the ideal pick-me-up that says you care.
Fear of news.
Smart card.
'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'
Buy on-line - Fill in form, Fill in form again, And again, Lose form, Fill-in form a few more times, Give up and go to shop...
Down on Her.
"What kind of bra are you looking for?"
'I'm sure they make it up in volume.'
'All our appliances come with energy saving device - off/on switch.'
Cash Rebate
"They're willing to throw in their kidneys."
Customer Service - I don't know and I don't care.
“We need eggs, milk, bread... Oh, and get an extra-large tub of outrage. We’re running low.”
End Of Consumer Confidence Sale
'Midnight Galas, dinner at the Captain's table, the Swinging Singles Bar, exotic tropical nights... if I may say so, Miss Winslow... this cruise is you!'
"Feel free to imagine you might have any of the conditions you read about in the magazines."
"I just want Velveetaaaaaaa!"
It says 'item is returnable if repackaged exactly as sent.'"
Last minute gift ideas
Coming soon: The Garden of Eden Shopping Center.
"Would you like to pay with card, cash or the dim and shredded remains of my remaining dreams?"
"Happy Easter!"
"I was at home all day yesterday so when do I want you to re-deliver? Yesterday!"
'No Wallmart...No Target...No mall...How can you call this paradise?'
'Mom says if you're going to buy anything online,I'm supposed to make sure it's a secure site.'
'It's been raining all day. There's nothing to do.'
Supermarket - 'Buy One, Get 5kg Of Packaging Free'
He knew it. She was cheating on him again. Buying brand-name products and putting them in bulk containers. You know, just to appear thrifty.
What's the sale price on scones? Zero percent off. It's a sale in name only. I see. How many can I get at the sale price? The sale mentality mocks me.
I'm not welcome at Computer Villa? You're broke. You can't buy anything. But I've been a loyal customer for years. Can I just window shop? Oh, sure. And can I come over to your house and peer inside and annoy you by not buying anything?! Retailers are upset and making no sense. Go ye into the wilderness!
'Call me when you invent the warranty.'
Marks And Spencer Financial Services - " I came in here to buy socks not stocks."
'Is everything made in China these days?'
Incredibly Inexpensive Security Systems' advertise 'Pretty Good Set Ups. 1/2 the price, 2/3 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional break-ins.
Customer Avoidance Dept.
Anxious Shopper Gifts Collection
Anxious Shopper Mugs
Explore our mugs collection for the anxious shopper—quippy, comforting designs that make morning coffee more uplifting.
Anxious Shopper Pillows
Find the perfect cushion for those anxious moments—our pillows bring humor and comfort to any living space.
Anxious Shopper Prints
Add a splash of humor to your decor with prints that celebrate the creative, anxious mind—ideal for brightening any room.
Anxious Shopper T-Shirts
Browse our T-shirts designed for anxious souls who appreciate witty, creative humor—wear your mood with a smile.