The Skeptical Shopper Gifts

'Is everything made in China these days?'

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"You might say I'm middle-of-the-road. I'd buy a fur coat but I wouldn't buy a Japanese fur coat."

Down on Her.

'I'm sure they make it up in volume.'

"I got napkins, family photos, and the strongest lip balm in the city."

Cash Rebate

Financial Christmas

'Midnight Galas, dinner at the Captain's table, the Swinging Singles Bar, exotic tropical nights... if I may say so, Miss Winslow... this cruise is you!'

End Of Consumer Confidence Sale

Last minute gift ideas

'What's wrong with me today? I actually served a customer...'

'Hmmm, this is too good to be true: I can smell a rat...'

'Hey! Who changed this water into wine?'

"Baldo, I don't need advice on looking cool in a new car."

"What 'Do-not-knock' list?"

'I don't CARE if they were marked down 35 percent. That set of drapes goes back to the store!'

Coming soon: The Garden of Eden Shopping Center.

Microscope's R Us. 'What do you mean out 'No Refunds' small print is too small.'

'As far as we know, no one who has eaten out genetically-modified food has turned into a creature or anything.'

'No Wallmart...No Target...No mall...How can you call this paradise?'

'Mom says if you're going to buy anything online,I'm supposed to make sure it's a secure site.'

"Why don't you just go to the supermarket like everybody else?"

'The Ridiculous Slippers Shop'

"I'm not investing a penny into the high street!"

Supermarket - 'Buy One, Get 5kg Of Packaging Free'

He knew it. She was cheating on him again. Buying brand-name products and putting them in bulk containers. You know, just to appear thrifty.

'It's been raining all day. There's nothing to do.'

Big Retail is watching you... They're just not really watching what they've got.

"I'm looking for something special that says 'Meow.'"

'Call me when you invent the warranty.'

Incredibly Inexpensive Security Systems' advertise 'Pretty Good Set Ups. 1/2 the price, 2/3 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional break-ins.

Marks And Spencer Financial Services - " I came in here to buy socks not stocks."