Skeptical Spenders Gifts

'Wow, your expensive health insurance is worth every penny! According to your status, you're entitled to a special single room. Do you prefer the lift shaft or the heating cellar?'

Stock market investment advice

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

Down on Her.

'I want you stop referring to our grant as 'The Big Dipper.''

'I'm sure they make it up in volume.'

Cash Rebate

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

"We’ve been told to cut the drugs budget so in future Louella here will be chanting away your pain."

"I balance my manic compulsive buying with manic buyer's remorse."

'It's not a Ponzi scheme. It's a Ponzi FUND.'

'We're worried about your ability to lend us money.'

End Of Consumer Confidence Sale

'Maybe so, sir, but our motto is, 'A penny saved is a lot of trouble for nothing.''

'Midnight Galas, dinner at the Captain's table, the Swinging Singles Bar, exotic tropical nights... if I may say so, Miss Winslow... this cruise is you!'

"I want to be cured of some very destructive buying habits."

'Six hundred dollars! That's ridiculous! I could buy a new driver with that kind of money!'

Money falling down a black hole

Truth in labeling: If it sounds too good to be true. . . investments, stocks, bonds & mutual funds - formally fly-by nite investments.

'Get rich quick schemes - $1,000,000 each.'

"Trick or Treat - sorry, cash only."

'I don't CARE if they were marked down 35 percent. That set of drapes goes back to the store!'

Coming soon: The Garden of Eden Shopping Center.

Politicians and Budget Cuts.

'I couldn't afford the lavish lifestyle I was living. Coming to accept that was freeing, although, not as freeing as I had hoped.'

"Baldo, I don't need advice on looking cool in a new car."

'No Wallmart...No Target...No mall...How can you call this paradise?'

Some black sheep at the financial consulting branch are working with cheap tricks.

'Ugh! Savings sprees are so dull.'

Cancel that turkey and prawn sandwich and make it cheese.

Supermarket - 'Buy One, Get 5kg Of Packaging Free'

"And Boris caims all his spending plans will be financed by winnings on investing £1000 a week in Eurolottery tickets..."

Look thru the hole to see budget savings: 'I don't see anything in there...'

'It's been raining all day. There's nothing to do.'

Frank and Ernest give financial advice. You must be careful about both how much you pay and what you buy. Your money going further doesn't matter if it's just wandering aimlessly.