Careful Consumer Gifts

Man with a new purchase about to fall down a hole.

"Good For You / Bad For You"

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

But is it organic?

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'Do you ever think about how we can reduce our global footprint?'

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

Gullib-Os

'The U.S. has less than 5% of the world's population, but consumes 25% of its natural resources. Pretty outrageous, isn't it?'

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

CATCHY NAME

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

Consumption Graph.

ONE MORNING WHILE GETTING DRESSED,

are you so alienated from any real form of community that you can no longer distinguish between belonging and conforming?

"You might say I'm middle-of-the-road. I'd buy a fur coat but I wouldn't buy a Japanese fur coat."

'Yes, the wood on this pencil is from a renewable source.'

"I didn't know it was poison ivy. It didn't have any warning labels."

'Of course, I buy only organic foods... I like to be environmentally friendly.'

"And getting rarer by the day, madam!"

"Do you have anything with FOOD in it?"