Cautious Consumer Gifts

'Hmmm, this is too good to be true: I can smell a rat...'

No, I haven't taken an aspirin yet... I'm still reading the bottle!

"You might say I'm middle-of-the-road. I'd buy a fur coat but I wouldn't buy a Japanese fur coat."

'As far as we know, no one who has eaten out genetically-modified food has turned into a creature or anything.'

"Here...I'll call the lottery office...they can probably pick us up!"

"Good For You / Bad For You"

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

But is it organic?

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

No Immediate Danger

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

'Do you ever think about how we can reduce our global footprint?'

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

'The U.S. has less than 5% of the world's population, but consumes 25% of its natural resources. Pretty outrageous, isn't it?'

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

ONE MORNING WHILE GETTING DRESSED,

'Yes, the wood on this pencil is from a renewable source.'

'Of course, I buy only organic foods... I like to be environmentally friendly.'

"Do you have anything with FOOD in it?"

Horn of Plenty.

An apple a day!

"Are your chickens raised without the use of growth hormones?"

Hang on, don't cross now: I can see a car coming...