Cautious Gambler Gifts

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

Bob liked getting involved - but not actively involved.

"You might say I'm middle-of-the-road. I'd buy a fur coat but I wouldn't buy a Japanese fur coat."

"I didn't know it was poison ivy. It didn't have any warning labels."

"I think I need a professional money manager. I invest sixty five percent of my money gambling in casinos and thirty five percent I keep under the mattress."

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

Hang on, don't cross now: I can see a car coming...

'Will you make the final table?'

'Remember, guys... we've got to clean up this mess before the folks get home.'

"Looks very promising. Put us down for one half of one share."

"On reflection, it might be prudent to leave this one till last..."

A tortoise walks away from a poker game, having lost its shell.

'We're taking baby steps with this whole social media thing until we're certain it pans out.'

"Trevor's nose is running."

"Okay, guys. Don't open your chutes till I give the word."

'Hmmm, this is too good to be true: I can smell a rat...'

Welcome to Las Vegas - a faith-based community.

Half a loaf is better than none..

'I'll take Tommy Peters to cry first, for a nickel.'

'As far as we know, no one who has eaten out genetically-modified food has turned into a creature or anything.'

"Ask your doctor if you're strong enough to day trade options."

'You should try to be more spontaneous.' 'I shall. When I'm good and ready.'

Vending machines at work: Snacks, Coffee, Glimmer of Hope

'Mom says if you're going to buy anything online,I'm supposed to make sure it's a secure site.'

'His horse came in at 100 to 1 - last!'

"Judging by the belt and suspenders, I sense you're a risk averse investor."

"She wants to make sure we don't lose her money..."

'What number is the hymn 'All things bright and beautiful'?'

"Just relax. Your investments are so safe you'll be worth a million dollars if you live to be 169."

"Cutting out the middleman."

'Shall we spin the wheel to see how many napkins you get.'