Thrifty Couples Gifts

'Whenever you have a candlelight dinner I'm never sure if you're in a romantic mood or you're just trying to cut down on the light bill.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

"I'm taking your advice and saving my money!"

'What can you get with a quarter?'

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

'More toys! The way you kids spend, you must think bananas grow on trees.'

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

The Bargain Brand

How much would you take off for cash?

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

"We could have a Do-It-Yourself wedding! Your friends could do the cake and flowers, Uncle Jim could do the photos..."

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

'If the pound is worth so little, can I have a couple?'

"C'mere, space heater."

"Uh, Dad, I appreciate the 'walkin' around money,' but I need 'walkin' around New York City money.'"

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

Don't laugh, my house is paid for.

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"How much if I pedal?"

"An ounce of prevention." "This way we don't need to raise as much."

'Any annuity we can afford wouldn't pay the MILK BILL!'

"I don't get it. Dad wants to cut the household budget? How do we do that?"