Thrifty Thinkers Gifts

'We are spending entirely too much on bills.'

'I live on a fixed income and if I ever get my hands on the repairman...'

'Don't spend £4.00 to dry clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for £1.50!'

Building society, savers rates -"Well, what shall we do with the interest, leave it in or withdraw it and buy a pot of tea for two?"

Prices and inflation

"Don't pull out yet; we still have some time left on the meter."

"Fine. As long as it doesn't involve spending money."

Half-price tighty-white day at the MoMA.

"Listen, I know our bills are behind. We're going through a hard time."

'I threw my old t-shirt out and bought this for two quid.' - 'The stitching has come loose so I want to get a refund... but the bus fare into town will cost more than the refund.' - 'Now I'm stuck in a logical loop... and I'm chilly.'

Thrift: Walk naked behind a person wearing your size clothes!

'It's for stripping paint... cheaper than meths.'

'Morag darlin', they've made you look like a hundred dollars!'

"Sergio, are we having money problems?"

"It's cheaper to buy soap in chunks instead of bars. Just chip off what you need."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

"I'm taking your advice and saving my money!"

'What can you get with a quarter?'

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

The Bargain Brand

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

"We could have a Do-It-Yourself wedding! Your friends could do the cake and flowers, Uncle Jim could do the photos..."

How much would you take off for cash?

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.