Thrifty Philosopher Gifts

'The nice thing about our car is we double its value when we fill it up with gas.'

'And there's our bargain basement, sir.'

Holiday 2009.

"Spare the price of a triple-choc mochafrappaccino with extra caramelised sprinkles, guv?"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

Only One Item or Fewer.

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

Hamlet in the craft shop.

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

"I'm taking your advice and saving my money!"

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"I can't believe I'm paying $5,000 a month for you to stream Intro to Psychology when I get all of TV for $15.99."

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

"Sure, you can buy them another round, but is this really how you want to spend your MacArthur Grant?"

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

"We could have a Do-It-Yourself wedding! Your friends could do the cake and flowers, Uncle Jim could do the photos..."

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

"I know we have to cut costs, but is bringing only one of each a good idea?"

Rodin's 'The Thinker' imagines himself as Rodin's 'The Kiss'.

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

"C'mere, space heater."

KNITEO ERGO SUM!

'If the pound is worth so little, can I have a couple?'

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

'Most of the dental floss gets thrown out on used. No wonder I'm always broke.'

'No matter how hard I work, I'll never get higher on the food chain then this?'

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

"Fuel poverty is not the same as being too mean to switch the heating on...."