Crafty Philosopher Gifts

KNITEO ERGO SUM!

Hamlet in the craft shop.

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

Pigeon Little

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

Reverse psychology

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

Beyond the known and the unknown.

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

'I ink, therefore I am....'

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

'I ink, therefore I am....', IF DESCARTES HAD BEEN A CARTOONIST

The Nihilist Deli.

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

'How did he make the world in six days?'

"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?"

'There's a teddy and a pony... and that one looks like medulla oblongata!'