Artsy Philosopher Gifts

Sculptor creating repeating self-portrait sculptures.

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

"The raw material was all around me: That's how I got started as a sculptor..."

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

High School Schedule

Hamlet in the craft shop.

Harmon Silas, calculating the thousand words his picture is worth, wonders what do do with contractions.

'You'll never get the Burgundy stain out, so let's just color the whole thing.'

'I ink, therefore I am....', IF DESCARTES HAD BEEN A CARTOONIST

'I ink, therefore I am....'

Jackson Pollock makes a mistake: 'Guess I'll have to start over.'

Rodins rotten juggler

Oak Tree Painted in 1642

"now let's try one without the tusks."

'Perhaps this will give you inspiration son?'

KNITEO ERGO SUM!

'What the hell is this the age of?'

"I've been an emerging artist for ten years now..."

"It's too academic."

"If you drink eight glasses of water every day, you'll due fully hydrated."

Steam of Consciousness

'I'm going to soak for three days, then Andre here is going to sculpt me into an entirely new body shape with the pumice stone.'

"Now who's being judgy?"