Artistic Philosophers Gifts

How many people do you think you've been mean to in your long, long, long life, Sadie? About six … living, that is. Technically, there've been hundreds and hundreds, at least, but they've all passed away. There are only six left. That is the single most lamentable part of outliving all your greatest creations. Emotionally scarred people are your "creations"? Imagine if Michelangelo had lived to see all his greatest works crumble to dust.

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

"The raw material was all around me: That's how I got started as a sculptor..."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

The man who invented the wheel/The man who patented the wheel.

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

The revolution that hit Hollywood hardest:The Thinking Pictures."

'You'll never get the Burgundy stain out, so let's just color the whole thing.'

Lessons from the Blakely Art School (Now Defunct)

Who's torturing a crow? I'm practicing my play. It's art! Which opens your mind to life's important questions. Right. Like what is art? Or do we need little brothers?

'I ink, therefore I am....', IF DESCARTES HAD BEEN A CARTOONIST

'Stop quoting from films and get on with it.'

'I ink, therefore I am....'

RBG, RGB, CMYK

Jackson Pollock makes a mistake: 'Guess I'll have to start over.'

Oak Tree Painted in 1642

The Last Jedi dvd is going to have fourteen deleted scenes! Horrible mistake. The confident creator releases his work to the world and says This is it. This is what I want to show you. He doesn't then show you all the stuff he might have put in the story. Did Prince release the deleted stanza from Little Red Corvette where he also compared her to a Ford Pinto? Wait ... Prince compared a sexy lady to a Ford Pinto? Who knows? That's my point. Aren't you glad you don't know what?

Page from 'How to Draw' by Albrecht Durer

Willson, Carswell & Griggs - The Balanchine Version

'In defense of rotten movies, they DO have the remarkable ability to make it seem like maybe your life isn't flying by that fast after all!'

'I'm going to soak for three days, then Andre here is going to sculpt me into an entirely new body shape with the pumice stone.'

Clever youth stating that he considers Shakespeare overrated

'I am afraid, sir, that in the current economic climate, a picture is now only worth 500 words.'

"If you drink eight glasses of water every day, you'll due fully hydrated."

"I didn't even realise Mondrian ever had a triangular period!"

'What the hell is this the age of?'

"This song is dedicated to all of you who have been having a hard time deciding between the big bang and steady state theories."

'I like it.'

"Now who's being judgy?"

"It's too academic."

"I've been an emerging artist for ten years now..."