Art Theorist Gifts

"It's a stunning example of the absence of traditional art as a paradigm of a new way of viewing the essence of a new zeitgeist..." "Er...do you think we should tell him that we haven't hung the picture yet?"

"This is from my 'white period' the period before I could afford paint."

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

"The raw material was all around me: That's how I got started as a sculptor..."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

High School Schedule

Women's sportswear - Sale on paradigm shifts.

Harmon Silas, calculating the thousand words his picture is worth, wonders what do do with contractions.

'Mind if I join you?'

Max Weber

'You'll never get the Burgundy stain out, so let's just color the whole thing.'

"Are you sure this is a Film Noir"

Lessons from the Blakely Art School (Now Defunct)

Who's torturing a crow? I'm practicing my play. It's art! Which opens your mind to life's important questions. Right. Like what is art? Or do we need little brothers?

RBG, RGB, CMYK

Jackson Pollock makes a mistake: 'Guess I'll have to start over.'

'Since you conduct only thought experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought results.'

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist. George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

"Y a un truc bizarre."

Page from 'How to Draw' by Albrecht Durer

Willson, Carswell & Griggs - The Balanchine Version

'My God Pearson you're right. All these years the greates scientific minds have been looking for the theory of everything and all we had to do was Google it!'

"I was born into the wrong color. I'm not pink, Oh, doc, I'm so depressed..."

Oak Tree Painted in 1642

'Actually, we don't like the term 'cannibal', we prefer to be called 'homovores'.'

'We think, therefore we are a tank.'

'First particle theory, then wave theory, then plasma theory, and now lime gelatin theory.'

'I'm going to soak for three days, then Andre here is going to sculpt me into an entirely new body shape with the pumice stone.'

'The beauty of this is that it is only of theoretical importance, and there is no way it can be of any practical use whatsoever.'

'What the hell is this the age of?'

"It's too academic."

"I've been an emerging artist for ten years now..."