Art Philosopher Gifts

Jackson Pollock makes a mistake: 'Guess I'll have to start over.'

'What does it mean. I'm just the guard here....the stress of the diagonal.'

" 'Perceptual and kinetic art have an intertwined development that cannot be totally disentangled; nevertheless perceptual, optical, or "virtual" movement—which always exists in tension with factual immobility—is an experience of a different order.' "

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"I've been an emerging artist for ten years now..."

"It's too academic."

The table is doomed to repeat itself.

"The raw material was all around me: That's how I got started as a sculptor..."

Ezra Pound

'I think he's a minimalist.'

'I like it.'

Oak Tree Painted in 1642

"If all sculptures that are offensive to look at should be destroyed then how come the Tate Modern is still standing?"

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

The man who invented the wheel/The man who patented the wheel.

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

Harmon Silas, calculating the thousand words his picture is worth, wonders what do do with contractions.

'You'll never get the Burgundy stain out, so let's just color the whole thing.'

'I ink, therefore I am....'

'I ink, therefore I am....', IF DESCARTES HAD BEEN A CARTOONIST

Lessons from the Blakely Art School (Now Defunct)

Willson, Carswell & Griggs - The Balanchine Version

Page from 'How to Draw' by Albrecht Durer

"Y a un truc bizarre."

Clever youth stating that he considers Shakespeare overrated

'I'm going to soak for three days, then Andre here is going to sculpt me into an entirely new body shape with the pumice stone.'

'I hope there isn't art as we know it on other planets.'

"Now who's being judgy?"

'I am afraid, sir, that in the current economic climate, a picture is now only worth 500 words.'

'What the hell is this the age of?'

"If you drink eight glasses of water every day, you'll due fully hydrated."

Cut out and keep Socrates.