Thrifty Dater Gifts

'Can't be high-maintenance, but she must have class. Economy class.'

'Motels are pretty expensive, Melanie -- Why don't we go to a parking garage?'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

Say it with flowers

'What can you get with a quarter?'

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

The Bargain Brand

How much would you take off for cash?

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

'I'd be more impressed that you bought me flowers if you didn't take a job as a delivery boy to get the employee discount.'

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

"You can come in. But don't try anything funny."

"How much if I pedal?"

"The portions here are so small, thank goodness there's a food bank around the corner."

"It's cheaper to buy soap in chunks instead of bars. Just chip off what you need."

Buying roses - 'You got any with no stem?'

'I'm impressed at your choice sir, you certainly know your budget wines.'

"Tia Carmen! We're at Plaza Mall...not Flaco's Flea Market!"

Yard Sale: Like-New Kitchen Gadgets

You always wanted a cute leather jacket

"Tell your chef I'd like something for a refined and cultured palate. For under ten bucks."

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

Florist. You're taking your new girlfriend to the aviary for Valentine's Day? Yes -- It's a cheap date.

'Our financial adviser urges us to take a hiking vacation this summer.'

'I got mine at a garage sale for only 99 cents.'

"I'd like an engagement ring that declares my uncompromising love...for under fifty bucks."

'Morag darlin', they've made you look like a hundred dollars!'

The 29p Shop

City Taxi Co. Now offering no-frills service.

"I have two children from a previous economic cycle."

Half-price tighty-white day at the MoMA.

'This could be a swell time to buy our selves out!'