Thrifty Romantic Gifts

"I'd like an engagement ring that declares my uncompromising love...for under fifty bucks."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

Say it with flowers

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

"I'm taking your advice and saving my money!"

'What can you get with a quarter?'

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

The Bargain Brand

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

'I'd be more impressed that you bought me flowers if you didn't take a job as a delivery boy to get the employee discount.'

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

"We could have a Do-It-Yourself wedding! Your friends could do the cake and flowers, Uncle Jim could do the photos..."

How much would you take off for cash?

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

"C'mere, space heater."

'If the pound is worth so little, can I have a couple?'

'Sharing the petrol costs didn't bother me, but I resent having to pay half for the condoms!'

"Uh, Dad, I appreciate the 'walkin' around money,' but I need 'walkin' around New York City money.'"

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

"I bought it on Amazon. They have a good return policy."

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"How much if I pedal?"

"The portions here are so small, thank goodness there's a food bank around the corner."