Thrifty Celebrator Gifts

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

Bubbly

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

"Happy new year!"

You always wanted a cute leather jacket

"I'd like an engagement ring that declares my uncompromising love...for under fifty bucks."

You're forcing 2,000 tulips for one girl's sweet 16 party?! Yep. Haven't they heard? The country's having really tough times. Tree's Tree Nursery. Organic. Plant food. The family is concerned. They're making sacrifices, too. Oh? They wanted 3,000. Golden parachutes all around.

Carbon-Friendly Christmas Tree

Pizza By The Slice

Puss in Factory Seconds

'We only want small portions. I'm counting my calories and he's counting his pennies.'

"It must be good wine for twenty bucks a bottle!"

"Christmas shopping done - the trolley only cost a quid."

Boss, the customers are demanding to know why the muffins taste like ground cardboard. There was a sale on week-old organic oat bran and cardboard muffins. Should I tell them that? Depends. Are the men wearing lumberjack beards and hipster glasses? And are the women wearing Salvation Army clothes and hipster glasses? Yes. Tell them.

Christmas jig

'Can't be high-maintenance, but she must have class. Economy class.'

Al's Bar, All You Can Drink $375.

That's very thoughtful of you - a check for five gallons of gas.

Actually, not overspending on the latest fashion is the new black.

"I've noticed there's no tree in the cafe. No decorations....nothing."

"Thats where the party budget ran out."

"It makes them feel good about buying my old junk."

Credit Crunch Punch.

Queen Mum (colour)

'Motels are pretty expensive, Melanie -- Why don't we go to a parking garage?'

'Hello - I'm the ghost of Christmas, low-budget, no-frills recession of doom'

May's guide to looking cheap on a budget.

Austerity Christmas Crackers.

Baubles

"I don't think I can click that fast."

'This year I did it the other way around...I first celebrated the New Year and then Christmas...Nobody noticed.'

Man toasting man: 'To our health insurers.'

Man with cut off jeans next to 50% off sign

'... So what does a half a tree cost?'