Frugal Festivities Fan Gifts

Austerity Christmas Crackers.

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

Two scottish gentleman debating over having Welsh rabbit

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

"He can afford a bigger cage. His old tax forms line the bottom."

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

"That's too big a pill for me to swallow, Harold!"

'I could only afford a Yo.'

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

"Why can't you just buy some modern LED lights?"

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"We've decided to cut back and have Christmas every other year."

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

'We've all had to cut costs a smidge.'

Today, it's chic to be cheap.

"It's cheaper to buy soap in chunks instead of bars. Just chip off what you need."

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

'Right now I'd say our biggest asset is our credit card debt.'

'Why can't you guys be more like the hot water heater, who may pay for itself in two years.'

'I asked my doc for a diet plan and it works great - thanks to his usurious bills, I can't afford a car or taxis and that's why I'm losing weight by walking!'

Dad she's fallen into the cereal again!

"Yes, two-for-one's a great deal, but we don't need any freshly cut Christmas trees in June!"

Pizza By The Slice

'You are always living in the past!' 'It's a lot cheaper!'

Scrooge and his piggy bank

"Why can't we have a proper stairlift?"