Frugal Festivities Fan Gifts

Austerity Christmas Crackers.

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

Two scottish gentleman debating over having Welsh rabbit

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

"He can afford a bigger cage. His old tax forms line the bottom."

"That's too big a pill for me to swallow, Harold!"

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

'I could only afford a Yo.'

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

"Why can't you just buy some modern LED lights?"

"We've decided to cut back and have Christmas every other year."

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"It's cheaper to buy soap in chunks instead of bars. Just chip off what you need."

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

Today, it's chic to be cheap.

'We've all had to cut costs a smidge.'

'Right now I'd say our biggest asset is our credit card debt.'

"Yes, two-for-one's a great deal, but we don't need any freshly cut Christmas trees in June!"

'I asked my doc for a diet plan and it works great - thanks to his usurious bills, I can't afford a car or taxis and that's why I'm losing weight by walking!'

'Why can't you guys be more like the hot water heater, who may pay for itself in two years.'

Dad she's fallen into the cereal again!

You belong to a tightwad club? Our time has come. For years we met in private, shunned by society. Thanks to the economy, we're hip. We can celebrate our frugality in front of the whole world! Bad time to ask for a raise. I am chinchy, hear me roar!

Pizza By The Slice

'You are always living in the past!' 'It's a lot cheaper!'

Scrooge and his piggy bank