Thrifty Moms Gifts

'More toys! The way you kids spend, you must think bananas grow on trees.'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

'What can you get with a quarter?'

Doris was determined to save money on cat parlour fees!

The Bargain Brand

"I got the kids to try more vegetables by putting sugar in the salt shaker."

How much would you take off for cash?

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

Don't laugh, my house is paid for.

'I can't play. I'm going 'Time Out Chair' shopping with my mom.'

Yard Sale: Like-New Kitchen Gadgets

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

Buying roses - 'You got any with no stem?'

"Tia Carmen! We're at Plaza Mall...not Flaco's Flea Market!"

"It's cheaper to buy soap in chunks instead of bars. Just chip off what you need."

"I checked out how much it would be for hockey, and guess what? The kids are playing pickleball this year!"

'This could be a swell time to buy our selves out!'

The 29p Shop

'Morag darlin', they've made you look like a hundred dollars!'

Toys. Dolls. $28.95. Sir, you sell these baby dolls for $28.95?! Who knew having a kid could be so expensive!

Back to school expenses.

Half-price tighty-white day at the MoMA.

Pound sign being cut in half.

Building society, savers rates -"Well, what shall we do with the interest, leave it in or withdraw it and buy a pot of tea for two?"

'Sorry kids, we've had to introduce no-frills parenting.'

It's been hard to find silver linings in this situation but I was able to buy this boat when my daughter had to switch from a huge to a tiny wedding.

'Window shopping is not as much fun as it used to be.'

'Yes I like the dress dear, but don't they have it in a cheaper size?'

Boss, the customers are demanding to know why the muffins taste like ground cardboard. There was a sale on week-old organic oat bran and cardboard muffins. Should I tell them that? Depends. Are the men wearing lumberjack beards and hipster glasses? And are the women wearing Salvation Army clothes and hipster glasses? Yes. Tell them.

"You don't have to spend a lot of money to have a good time?"

'We only want small portions. I'm counting my calories and he's counting his pennies.'