Thrifty Homeowner Gifts

Don't laugh, my house is paid for.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Painting by the numbers for adults

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

"Careful. That house has a taser."

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

"I'm taking your advice and saving my money!"

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

'What can you get with a quarter?'

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

'More toys! The way you kids spend, you must think bananas grow on trees.'

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

The Bargain Brand

How much would you take off for cash?

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

'This fish looked bored so we installed a rec room below their tank.'

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

"We could have a Do-It-Yourself wedding! Your friends could do the cake and flowers, Uncle Jim could do the photos..."

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

'If the pound is worth so little, can I have a couple?'

"C'mere, space heater."

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

"It was one of the things they kept after selling the ski resort."

"Uh, Dad, I appreciate the 'walkin' around money,' but I need 'walkin' around New York City money.'"

"We've townsized."

"I'm going to put some shelves up, certain scenes may contain strong language."

Finally, I found a good use for that leak.