Budget-savvy Homeowner Gifts

"We've townsized."

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

Garage Music

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

"No wonder it was so affordable."

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

Don't laugh, my house is paid for.

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

'With such a tight budget we never thought it would be possible to build our dream home.'

Cordless Drill and Drill Less Cords.

"I'm going to put some shelves up, certain scenes may contain strong language."

Finally, I found a good use for that leak.

Sam's Nation Building

"Why doesn't the budget ax ever fall in the produce department?"

"Wow, they want $10,000!"

No Frills Psychiatrist.

'Computer Prices' blowing away you money

'I'd like to stay and watch. It usually cuts the bill by 30%.'

"Natasha cuts diagnosis costs."

Senior Brand Name Medicine Cabinet

'Why do you want a chimney sweep anyway? You're all electric...'

"We have so many security cameras, the doormat says 'Say cheese' instead of welcome."

Wallpapering.

'I'm sorry, but all we have in your price range are a few bales of hay.'

"THREE quid for a romantic verse? Don't you have any snappy one liners for 50p.?"

Basic Shelter.

Wine Prices

Travel Agents

'This is about all we have in your price range!'

'The armed forces are having to respond to new kinds of threat.'