Budget-savvy Family Gifts

"Why doesn't the budget ax ever fall in the produce department?"

"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

'I could only afford a Yo.'

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

"We've townsized."

"Wow, they want $10,000!"

Sam's Nation Building

'All I said was,two could live as cheaply as one until you gave up dieting.'

"I checked out how much it would be for hockey, and guess what? The kids are playing pickleball this year!"

"We put you through day-care. You're on your own now."

"Yes, we have three children. Their names are time guzzler, career killer, and cost factor."

'I'd like to stay and watch. It usually cuts the bill by 30%.'

Senior Brand Name Medicine Cabinet

'Sorry kids, we've had to introduce parenting fees.'

"If this is a bit beyond your budget then I've got a shoebox coming available next week!"

"Papi, do we have enough net financial assets to meet essential living expenses for nine months if our source of income disappears?"

Back to school expenses.

Back pain - Back to school.

'I can tell when we're in a recession - my allowance gets cut.'

'Hunting and gathering together saved our marriage, but the cost of daycare is killing us!'

'Sorry kids, we've had to introduce no-frills parenting.'

It's been hard to find silver linings in this situation but I was able to buy this boat when my daughter had to switch from a huge to a tiny wedding.

"Get used to it...I think we're going to be eating them for a while yet..."

The cost of Halloween.

'The armed forces are having to respond to new kinds of threat.'

Baby buying shares

"To cut own on heating costs, we should consider house pooling."

'Of course, for the compact budget we offer the Shelterette Programme.'

'Bring me a nice bottle of something that'll impress the lady, for under a fiver.'

"Your mother and I have decided to introduce negative pocket money."

Your last chance to afford petrol.

Thrift: 'Collect a smaller child than your own from school... It eats less and fits the old clothes of the previous child.'