Budget-conscious Parent Gifts

It's been hard to find silver linings in this situation but I was able to buy this boat when my daughter had to switch from a huge to a tiny wedding.

Back to school expenses.

"I never dropped my baby on her head. . . but I did fail to save for college."

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

'I could only afford a Yo.'

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

'It's the only way I can afford this place.'

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

Take one Per Day as Affordable.

Sam's Nation Building

"Wow, they want $10,000!"

"Why doesn't the budget ax ever fall in the produce department?"

"We put you through day-care. You're on your own now."

"I checked out how much it would be for hockey, and guess what? The kids are playing pickleball this year!"

'I'd like to stay and watch. It usually cuts the bill by 30%.'

'Computer Prices' blowing away you money

Senior Brand Name Medicine Cabinet

"Natasha cuts diagnosis costs."

Flo's Christmas Lights: 'I really like what you've done with yawr Christmas lights this yeaw Flo.'

Baby buying shares

'The armed forces are having to respond to new kinds of threat.'

"Get used to it...I think we're going to be eating them for a while yet..."

'I can tell when we're in a recession - my allowance gets cut.'

"We have our round cuts and these are our budget cuts."

"Mom, if this is putting a strain on our finances, I could take a year off."

'Once they're born they immediately begin to depreciate.'

'Bring me a nice bottle of something that'll impress the lady, for under a fiver.'

'Of course, for the compact budget we offer the Shelterette Programme.'

Vulture oil inc.