Financially Savvy Parents Gifts

"We put you through day-care. You're on your own now."

Baby buying shares

Cost of Education.

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

Hell, "I think there's been some sort of mistake, I still owe my soul to the mortgage company"

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

'It's not my childhood that traumatised me. It's the size of your bills.'

'Before you return Principal Harris's phone call, I would like to remind you that having a 'living' dependant is an excellent tax deduction.'

'A 7 load? Do you think I was born yesterday? Oh, wait, I was.'

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"You were the one who said we couldn't afford a new vacuum, so stop moaning and suck harder!"

'Is my allowance an unfunded liability?'

"I'm so much more relaxed now that I got a reverse mortgage."

"I hate to ask for money, but I have a lot of student loans to pay off."

"The Chancellor insists on people getting 'advice' on what to do with their pension ports if they cash them in."

"It's cut my heating bills right down."

"Why doesn't the budget ax ever fall in the produce department?"

"Don't complain to your dad about your student loans. He's still paying his off."

"Harold, have you reaped huge gains that you have not told me about?"

"I checked out how much it would be for hockey, and guess what? The kids are playing pickleball this year!"

'The good news is that the person who stole your identity is spending a lot less money than you were.'

"Someone forgot to pay this bill so they're repossessing our furniture."

'Dad, can I put my pocket money into a pension fund to protect me from the economic winter?'

"Papi, do we have enough net financial assets to meet essential living expenses for nine months if our source of income disappears?"

Back to school expenses.

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"Money from the Tooth Fairy, eh? Don't forget to declare capital gains!"

Staying together for the pension.

'Why don't you put your money in the Bank, instead of stuffing it under the mattress?'

It's been hard to find silver linings in this situation but I was able to buy this boat when my daughter had to switch from a huge to a tiny wedding.

"Mom, if this is putting a strain on our finances, I could take a year off."

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Doctor uses his stethoscope on the patient's wallet.