Financially Savvy Kids Gifts

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

"I don't have time for piggy banks. Can't I just buy an ATM?"

'That's my boy...'

Saving for Retirement.

Hell, "I think there's been some sort of mistake, I still owe my soul to the mortgage company"

'I know about the birds and the bees. Can you tell me about making a bundle trading derivatives?'

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

'I hardly expected the federal tapering affect my allowance.'

'My own debit card would really be a great way to teach me the value of a dollar.'

'It's not my childhood that traumatised me. It's the size of your bills.'

'A 7 load? Do you think I was born yesterday? Oh, wait, I was.'

'Is my allowance an unfunded liability?'

"I'm so much more relaxed now that I got a reverse mortgage."

"It's cut my heating bills right down."

"The Chancellor insists on people getting 'advice' on what to do with their pension ports if they cash them in."

"Harold, have you reaped huge gains that you have not told me about?"

"Don't complain to your dad about your student loans. He's still paying his off."

"How do you make any money?"

"I hate to ask for money, but I have a lot of student loans to pay off."

"We put you through day-care. You're on your own now."

'The good news is that the person who stole your identity is spending a lot less money than you were.'

"Someone forgot to pay this bill so they're repossessing our furniture."

'Dad, can I put my pocket money into a pension fund to protect me from the economic winter?'

"Papi, do we have enough net financial assets to meet essential living expenses for nine months if our source of income disappears?"

Non-Profit-Organization

'I'm done with school because all I need to make a living is to know how to persuade my dad to give me money!'

"Money from the Tooth Fairy, eh? Don't forget to declare capital gains!"

Staying together for the pension.

'Dad, I need to talk to you about my investment portfolio.'

'Why don't you put your money in the Bank, instead of stuffing it under the mattress?'