Money Savvy Kid Gifts

'Is my allowance an unfunded liability?'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

"I don't have time for piggy banks. Can't I just buy an ATM?"

'That's my boy...'

'He's precocious.'

'I know about the birds and the bees. Can you tell me about making a bundle trading derivatives?'

Money down the drain.

'I hardly expected the federal tapering affect my allowance.'

"Hello, Sally? I've decided not to go to the concert. . . my father said I'd have to use my own money!"

'He's showing an interest in banking and finance.'

'If you only knew what your money costs us!'

'A 7 load? Do you think I was born yesterday? Oh, wait, I was.'

You did a hostile takeover of the corner lemonade stand? Why not? It's operated by Timmy. He's seven. He's a big boy. By seven, I had three ice cream carts. Besides, I made his investors an offer they couldn't refuse. We'll split the six free espressos. Waaaaah!

'I quit the ice cream stand last year. Now I'm double dipping.'

"How do you make any money?"

"We put you through day-care. You're on your own now."

"Papi, do we have enough net financial assets to meet essential living expenses for nine months if our source of income disappears?"

"Money from the Tooth Fairy, eh? Don't forget to declare capital gains!"

'Dad, I need to talk to you about my investment portfolio.'

Baby buying shares

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'I'm only seven years old -- I don't HAVE a credit rating yet!'

'I can tell when we're in a recession - my allowance gets cut.'

"Mom, if this is putting a strain on our finances, I could take a year off."

Lemonade and Free Credit Report Stand

'Once they're born they immediately begin to depreciate.'

"I got a gold star for having the highest credit score in my class."

Heating Bill Prison

'Instead of a birthday card, Dad - Why don't you give me a credit card?'

Consumer Weekly �9.50 - Rip-Off Britain

'He's learning how to maintain a bank account.'

Fee-charging ATM: 'You are about to be ripped off'.