Money-savvy Student Gifts

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

'That's my boy...'

"I don't have time for piggy banks. Can't I just buy an ATM?"

Hell, "I think there's been some sort of mistake, I still owe my soul to the mortgage company"

'I know about the birds and the bees. Can you tell me about making a bundle trading derivatives?'

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

'I hardly expected the federal tapering affect my allowance.'

'It's not my childhood that traumatised me. It's the size of your bills.'

Sunshine Retirement Villa: Pool, Golf, Tennis and Financial Planner.

'It's the only way I can afford this place.'

"It's perfect for commuting to college. Definitely a learning experience."

"Hello, Sally? I've decided not to go to the concert. . . my father said I'd have to use my own money!"

'Is my allowance an unfunded liability?'

"I'm so much more relaxed now that I got a reverse mortgage."

"Wow! I didn't even know Prada made pencil cases."

"It's cut my heating bills right down."

"The Chancellor insists on people getting 'advice' on what to do with their pension ports if they cash them in."

"Harold, have you reaped huge gains that you have not told me about?"

"Don't complain to your dad about your student loans. He's still paying his off."

"How do you make any money?"

"In going over your retirement papers, Wilcox. I've discovered you owe your soul to the company store."

"I hate to ask for money, but I have a lot of student loans to pay off."

'The good news is that the person who stole your identity is spending a lot less money than you were.'

"Someone forgot to pay this bill so they're repossessing our furniture."

'Dad, can I put my pocket money into a pension fund to protect me from the economic winter?'

Non-Profit-Organization

"Money from the Tooth Fairy, eh? Don't forget to declare capital gains!"

Staying together for the pension.