Money-savvy Individual Gifts

Consumer Weekly �9.50 - Rip-Off Britain

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

'I've got the world by the tail. How much is this going to set me back?'

Hell, "I think there's been some sort of mistake, I still owe my soul to the mortgage company"

Money down the drain.

"We just can't justify the expense of cheese, let alone the upkeep of the maze."

'I hear the market went on quite a roller coaster ride today.'

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

'It's not my childhood that traumatised me. It's the size of your bills.'

Because of our tightening budget, I had to turn off the lights at the end of the tunnel.

Buy 1 Get 1 Free. Buy 2 You're Stupid.

"He's very well off. He's got all the quantities I admire."

"With this app, I can track my savings. It counts cash, categorizes cash, and calculates cash interest."

'If you only knew what your money costs us!'

Take one Per Day as Affordable.

'Is my allowance an unfunded liability?'

"I'm so much more relaxed now that I got a reverse mortgage."

"This is Thurgood. He specializes in beaten-down stocks."

The banks shoving the earth off the wall like Humpty Dumpty.

"It's cut my heating bills right down."

'His ballistic fingerprints were all over the company's over-stated profits.'

"I hate to ask for money, but I have a lot of student loans to pay off."

"Don't complain to your dad about your student loans. He's still paying his off."

'Frankly, I'm looking for someone who's tall, dark and solvent.'

"The Chancellor insists on people getting 'advice' on what to do with their pension ports if they cash them in."

"In going over your retirement papers, Wilcox. I've discovered you owe your soul to the company store."

"Harold, have you reaped huge gains that you have not told me about?"

'The good news is that the person who stole your identity is spending a lot less money than you were.'

"Someone forgot to pay this bill so they're repossessing our furniture."

'Those growth funds you sold me didn't work.'

'Dad, can I put my pocket money into a pension fund to protect me from the economic winter?'

Eat it while it's still £6.50.

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