Money-savvy Friend Gifts

Heating Bill Prison

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

"I just..."

'It's cheaper than gas.'

"We balanced our budget this month!"

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

GAS. If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it.

'All this talk about a consumer society... I don't buy it.'

"We cancelled Netfix for this?"

Piggy Bank Coin I.V.

'How much did you save this year?'

"We're going to need more pets."

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

'I think we may have an income problem.'

"We just can't justify the expense of cheese, let alone the upkeep of the maze."

Strike 3! 'Dammit - all I can think about is that $5,350,000!'

"We've got a new financial advisor. I asked him how to cut down on out of pocket expenses and he said to stop wearing clothes with pockets."

"The company must save money. That's why we've got to be easy on the carpet."

Boss, customers are asking why you've doubled prices. I'm just being fair. When the cost of coffee beans go up, everyone thinks I'm justified in raising the price of coffee. But cost increases come in all shapes and sizes. What about my new 80" tv? What about my new car note? What about my manservant I just imported from London? I dream of the day when all costs can be passed on to customers equally. Greed is not a civil right issue!

'The gas bill is a lot bigger than usual.'

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

Because of our tightening budget, I had to turn off the lights at the end of the tunnel.

Shopper sees sign: Buy one get ripped off.

"That will be $109.85." "What! Sign says they’re $1.69 each." "Yes, and you have 65 of them."

'Can I help? You bet your bottom dollar I can.'

"With this app, I can track my savings. It counts cash, categorizes cash, and calculates cash interest."

Gas prices up.

"Hello, Sally? I've decided not to go to the concert. . . my father said I'd have to use my own money!"

'All the money we saved buying bulk food on sale we blew on this huge freezer!'

"You're home early. Was it your round?"

'And don't say you could have done it cheaper and better at home.'

Everything became too freaking expensive today.