Finance-focused Friend Gifts

Strike 3! 'Dammit - all I can think about is that $5,350,000!'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

"What's a debenture?"

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

'My husband is very sensitive. He cries when he sees sunsets, old romantic films, and falling values of his 401(k)'

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

Crony Capitalism (Always Follow the Money Trail)

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

"You're a fine one to talk about my spending!"

Stock market investment advice

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

"He'll do anything to say in power."

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

"Allow me to introduce Recession. Recession is here to stay."

'The bad news is that we lost a lot of money last quarter... The good news is that it was a record.'

Fiscal Compass for the Global Investor.

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"