Finance Conscious Friend Gifts

'Five pounds of money lost to diet programs.'

"We just can't justify the expense of cheese, let alone the upkeep of the maze."

Strike 3! 'Dammit - all I can think about is that $5,350,000!'

'It's not my childhood that traumatised me. It's the size of your bills.'

Because of our tightening budget, I had to turn off the lights at the end of the tunnel.

"He put the 'fun' in funding."

"The social conservative in me tells me to pay for dinner, but the fiscal conservative thinks we should split it."

The banks shoving the earth off the wall like Humpty Dumpty.

"He only wears it this time of the year. It's his har-vest."

"In going over your retirement papers, Wilcox. I've discovered you owe your soul to the company store."

'Frankly, I'm looking for someone who's tall, dark and solvent.'

"He's quick with the birds and the bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears. . ."

Display of graduation cards labeled: over $10,000 in loans; over $25,000 in loans; over $50,000 in loans; over $100,00 in loans

'The most common side effect of this medication is loss of disposable income.'

And now Tom will give a presentation regarding our profits forecast

'I appreciate all you've done to help me to relax but I still get nervous twinges when I get your bill.'

psychiatrist - "...I'm just adding up your bill"

'I didn't run for class president because I was unsure if your credit rating could stand the scrutiny.'

"Have beer and fags gone up, yet?"

'Remember...change comes from within.'

'We're returning to a more traditional form of banking.'

" I thought you wanted to know how much you had in your account."

'Making me laugh is not going to help your overdraft, Mr Hambone.'

"And to think I used to worry about her showing up on our doorstep with a little bundle of joy..."

I bought this car on the lay-awake plan� I lay awake at night wondering when the repo man is going to come and haul it away.

Can't pay, won't pay!

Heating Bill Prison

'You must think I'm made of money! We can't afford both a cruise and a divorce in the same year!'

Worrying about the demise of the social security.

'Have you ever noticed? - People who don't have kids tend to talk a lot about their money.'

Davos, World Economic Forum - The widening gap.

'Waltrip has Male Pattern Salary.'

'Look at that; we got a table with the same number as your credit score.'

'Speak for yourself.'

Safe investor