Finance-savvy Friend Gifts

'We're returning to a more traditional form of banking.'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"We just can't justify the expense of cheese, let alone the upkeep of the maze."

The Little Banker Bonus Pack

Strike 3! 'Dammit - all I can think about is that $5,350,000!'

'It's not my childhood that traumatised me. It's the size of your bills.'

Because of our tightening budget, I had to turn off the lights at the end of the tunnel.

"The social conservative in me tells me to pay for dinner, but the fiscal conservative thinks we should split it."

The banks shoving the earth off the wall like Humpty Dumpty.

"He only wears it this time of the year. It's his har-vest."

"In going over your retirement papers, Wilcox. I've discovered you owe your soul to the company store."

'Frankly, I'm looking for someone who's tall, dark and solvent.'

"He's quick with the birds and the bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears. . ."

Display of graduation cards labeled: over $10,000 in loans; over $25,000 in loans; over $50,000 in loans; over $100,00 in loans

And now Tom will give a presentation regarding our profits forecast

IRS, 'I can grant you an extension, but it's going to COST you.'

"Have beer and fags gone up, yet?"

'I didn't run for class president because I was unsure if your credit rating could stand the scrutiny.'

'And now I would like to depart from my prepared text...'

'Remember...change comes from within.'

" I thought you wanted to know how much you had in your account."

Heating Bill Prison

"And to think I used to worry about her showing up on our doorstep with a little bundle of joy..."

'Making me laugh is not going to help your overdraft, Mr Hambone.'

'No, this is not my finances. With direct deposits and automatic bill pay, my money no longer needs me.'

'You must think I'm made of money! We can't afford both a cruise and a divorce in the same year!'

Davos, World Economic Forum - The widening gap.

'Have you ever noticed? - People who don't have kids tend to talk a lot about their money.'

'Waltrip has Male Pattern Salary.'

'Look at that; we got a table with the same number as your credit score.'

'Speak for yourself.'

Safe investor

College. Here's your diploma

"It was a scam, but how was I to know..."

'Five pounds of money lost to diet programs.'