Money Savvy Kids Gifts

"Money from the Tooth Fairy, eh? Don't forget to declare capital gains!"

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

"I don't have time for piggy banks. Can't I just buy an ATM?"

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

'That's my boy...'

Saving for Retirement.

'I know about the birds and the bees. Can you tell me about making a bundle trading derivatives?'

Money down the drain.

'I hardly expected the federal tapering affect my allowance.'

'My own debit card would really be a great way to teach me the value of a dollar.'

'He's showing an interest in banking and finance.'

'If you only knew what your money costs us!'

'A 7 load? Do you think I was born yesterday? Oh, wait, I was.'

'Is my allowance an unfunded liability?'

"How do you make any money?"

'I quit the ice cream stand last year. Now I'm double dipping.'

"We put you through day-care. You're on your own now."

Kid sells underwear outside of hospital emergency doorway.

"Papi, do we have enough net financial assets to meet essential living expenses for nine months if our source of income disappears?"

'I'm done with school because all I need to make a living is to know how to persuade my dad to give me money!'

'Dad, I need to talk to you about my investment portfolio.'

'I can tell when we're in a recession - my allowance gets cut.'

Baby buying shares

"Mom, if this is putting a strain on our finances, I could take a year off."

Lemonade and Free Credit Report Stand

Lemonade Stand Becoming Starbucks

'Once they're born they immediately begin to depreciate.'

Consumer Weekly �9.50 - Rip-Off Britain

"I got a gold star for having the highest credit score in my class."

'Instead of a birthday card, Dad - Why don't you give me a credit card?'

'He's learning how to maintain a bank account.'

Fee-charging ATM: 'You are about to be ripped off'.